Dealing with conflict is never easy, and it can be even harder when the conflict is with someone you live with. Now top that off with being stuck in quarantine due to a global pandemic. This kind of situation has become pretty common in the last couple of months for households all over the world, and it doesn’t seem to be getting better.
So, to make life a little easier for everyone stuck in this sticky situation, here are five tips and practices that will make quarantine-life a little more bearable, from a current roommate.
Communication is key
It sounds so simple, and yet, it’s one of the hardest hurdles to overcome when dealing with conflict at home. But to grow a garden, the awkward, and often-times frustrating, rain must fall… or so they say. Be honest about your feelings. Odds are, you aren’t the only one struggling to cope with the situation. It may not be comfortable but laying out your cards on the table will make it easier to find a solution to whatever issue you are facing. Being open from the start will aid in preventing the situation from devolving into a mess of passive-aggression. This brings us to our next point…
Resist the temptation to wield your sword of passive-aggression!
Choosing to be passive-aggressive is like taking a bite of the forbidden fruit. It might taste satisfying right now, but the results aren’t nearly as ripe. Now let’s be clear, leaving notes around the house IS passive-aggressive and IS NOT a good way to handle an issue you are having with someone. And yes, responding to those notes with even more notes is also passive-aggressive and isn’t helping the situation in the slightest. Not speaking your truth, keeping silent, and moving on might seem like the socially appropriate way to go about things, but it’s actually keeping you away from being able to communicate effectively and addressing problems that could very well be easily solved by sitting down and simply talking about it.
Compromise is key
Let’s be honest, as much as we wish things could always go our way, it’s just not realistic. Oftentimes conflict arises when a disagreement on who’s right and who’s wrong takes a turn for the worse, resulting in a standoff of epic proportions. More likely than not, the only way out of these sticky situations is to come to some sort of compromise. Sitting down with your housemate and talking out ways in which the situation can be resolved can not only aid in solving the problem but also release the tension between the parties involved. It’s as they say, you have to give a little to get a little.
Let go of the “me vs. them” mentality.
When conflict arises, it’s easy to go into the fighting arena with a “me vs. them” mentality. But more often than not, situations like these are the byproduct of a lack of communication, miscommunication or due to differences in perspectives. In the end, the members of a household are a unit. You eat together, cook and clean, and spend hours each and every day in each other’s presence. Even if you aren’t very close to those you live with, you share a home together, inadvertently making you into a single unit that requires some teamwork to thrive. So the next time you find yourself ready to throw down with a “me vs. them” mentality in mind, pause and take a second to see things from an “it’s us together” perspective. While this may not solve the problem, it’ll make the communication step a whole lot easier to get through.
There’s always more beneath the surface.
This final tip might be the most important, as it has the potential to serve the greatest impact. You almost never know what someone is going through beneath the surface. If your roommate or a family member has been particularly difficult to live with, there is likely to be a reason why. Before confronting them about your issues, take a breath, and remember that there is likely something else going on that you just might not be aware of. While your concerns are completely valid and the problems you are having with the other person have every right to be acknowledged and heard, it’s important to acknowledge that they are human, just like you. By having that patience and understanding, issues that could become conflict are more likely to be resolved before ever getting to that point.
A healthy household is built on kindness and understanding. That being said, no one is perfect. Conflict is normal in any household, especially when faced with a global pandemic. It’s our job as roommates and family members to take care of each other, supporting each other during this difficult time, and creating a place to go to at the end of the day that we can all call home.
Stay safe and stay healthy, Rams.
